Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.
“You’re fat.”
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.
“You’re lazy.”
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.
“You’re ugly.”
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.
“You’re worthless.”
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words cut the heart and leave scars that no one else can see.
Fat shaming has become the most accepted form of bullying in today’s society. Children spew off “Your mama’s so fat” jokes with the greatest of ease, without pausing to reflect on the wounds their words could inflict if aimed towards the right person. Sometimes even their own “mama’s” would be considered fat by today’s standards. Children are being taught that obesity is something to point and laugh about, that self-worth is measured by waist size and the number on the scale, not by goodness of character. I’ve had my fair share of bullying throughout childhood and as an adult. I’ve been pointed at, mouth agape like I was Godzilla about to destroy a Tokyo neighborhood; “Mommy, Why is she so FAT!?”
….I ATE! Now excuse me while I destroy this building…
It’s hard to blame kids for what they say, when the vast majority learn from example. Just because people get older doesn’t mean they grow up, and as adults we need to realize that our actions and interactions with others are teaching opportunities and learning experiences for the next generation.
I should mention that the mother in the above situation didn’t say anything to her child, no “that’s not nice”, or “shh” or….anything. Just silence as she scurried off with her kid in tow as I stood there turning various shades of red in the frozen food section of the grocery store after my drive-by bullying. A completely missed teaching opportunity.
But while kids are bullying in the playgrounds, adults are bullying on the internet. The internet is a battleground of the war society has waged against fat people, or anyone who is different, for that matter. Bullying the obese has become an acceptable form of prejudice and discrimination.
Any article online regarding the obesity epidemic or any weighty matters are met with public disgust and disdain for “those people”. They are referred to as “Obscene” rather than “Obese”. To these people an obese person’s mere presence is enough to disgust and inconvenience others. How dare we even leave the house…
One common thread weaving through the comments;
“How could they let themselves get to 400,500, or 800lbs!?”
Last time I checked it was never my intention to weigh over 400lbs. In school when we discussed what we wanted to be when we grew up, while other kids wanted to be doctors and lawyers, I didn’t want to be “a fat person”. It wasn’t my intention, but I accept responsibility for every action that led me to my excess weight, because in reality I have no one to blame but myself. No one forced me to eat. No one hog-tied me and stuffed food in my face. My excess weight was the result of choices I had made in an effort to deal with life’s circumstances. Upon reflection, they weren’t the best choices by any means, but that’s how I coped. Food was love. Food was comfort. Food was a friend. And damn it, food was good.
There are countless reasons for a person’s weight gain, but the end result is the same; Obesity. Painting everyone with the same fat brush does a disservice to each individual and their struggles. Everyone has a story if you take the time to listen to it, but in this day and age of insult first, ask questions later, or maybe never, obesity is the target. There is an obesity epidemic; therefore everyone must be a lazy pig.
It’s as if every ounce of compassion and empathy a person has goes away as soon as they get behind a keyboard. Hurling hateful words behind the anonymity of a computer screen has become all too common. It never ceases to amaze me the hate filled words that can spew from peoples fingertips. So long filter, welcome to the world wide web where very little forethought goes into a statement before people click “send”.
Rather than help to educate those battling issues with their weight on the value of proper nutrition and exercise, people instead, shame them.
When you have a problem, what is a better approach? To have someone support you, educate and help you? Or to have someone tell you how stupid, fat and lazy you are and that you deserve to die. That you killing yourself with food is natural selection in progress. So long tubby, it’s survival of the fittest!
Yeah, I didn’t think so either.
But here we are.
How has this become an acceptable way to treat our fellow human beings? Yes, obese people may be bigger than you, and look different, but underneath it all, they are still normal people deserving of compassion and respect. I’m not sure what it is about being different that equates to being scary, intimidating, or misunderstood, but at the end of the day we all have the same blood flowing through our veins.
Every day we have the choice to be positive, helpful and compassionate. But there are still people who wake up, jump out of bed and choose to be hateful. They make a conscious effort to hurt others with their words and with their actions, and in turn, teach others that this is acceptable behavior.
All of the energy put towards waging war against fat people should be put towards waging the war against bullying. We should lift people up for wanting to make positive changes in their lives, not tear them down because they aren’t doing it “fast enough” or to meet someone else’s standards of how it should be done. When an obese person goes to the gym, they shouldn’t be mocked and made fun of, they should be encouraged for taking that first step and walking in the door, because trust me, it’s far easier to just stay home than risk embarrassment. We should encourage each other to live healthy lives, and help one another reach those goals. We should work towards accepting people for who they are, and not shaming them for who they are not. We should build each other up, not tear each other down.
Choose to be kind. Choose to be compassionate. We should use our words for good, because sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can inflict much more emotional damage, and speaking from experience, it takes a LOT longer for those wounds to heal.
So let’s choose our words wisely.
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